TL/DR: if you sense red flags, pay attention. If it sounds like bad advice to you, it probably is. If it feels icky in your gut, trust yourself.
Some of our critics - implicit or direct, sensitive or boorish - provide us with that little grist for the mill that ultimately leads to positive change. I can't tell you how many times someone got on my dick about something and as I fumed and processed and thought it over, I came to realize there was something valuable in what they said. It might even be something entirely unrelated to their unwelcome fuckery - but nevertheless, the interaction led somewhere productive. This is mostly down to my own dogged determination to learn and grow, and I deserve mad props for that! But without their needling remark... maybe it would have taken me longer to get there.