TL/DR: if you sense red flags, pay attention. If it sounds like bad advice to you, it probably is. If it feels icky in your gut, trust yourself.
We are constantly being sold to. Most our feed is now advertisements (however cleverly hidden), affiliate / sponsorship links, boosts, pages or products we aren’t interested in. Meanwhile our own reach has plummeted. People aren’t seeing our content! Worse – we’re not seeing our friends’ stuff, either!
Last Saturday I took an excursion to Olympia with my oldest son, just because we wanted a roadtrip and some noodles. End of story. I didn’t have to ask, I didn’t have to worry about my schedule. I knew I had the time and knew I wanted the trip. I didn’t have to “make up” work when I got home. I’ve programmed my life with a lot of fuck-off time. This is lovely for snack attacks and beach days and goof-offs – but it’s also *indispensable* for supporting my partner’s career, for getting our sons to campus or to doctor’s appointments, for running errands, for taking our cat in for cancer surgery! There is a little bit of juggling now and then but my partner and I know there’s always time we can make for the things we need.
Some of our critics – implicit or direct, sensitive or boorish – provide us with that little grist for the mill that ultimately leads to positive change. I can’t tell you how many times someone got on my dick about something and as I fumed and processed and thought it over, I came to realize there was something valuable in what they said. It might even be something entirely unrelated to their unwelcome fuckery – but nevertheless, the interaction led somewhere productive. This is mostly down to my own dogged determination to learn and grow, and I deserve mad props for that! But without their needling remark… maybe it would have taken me longer to get there.
When I get scared it can be really tempting to think I don’t have time to play, it is wrong for me to experience Joy, it’s wrong for me to be silly or give myself rest or recreation. I feel that dark cloud encroaching in my head and I am just so scared. Soon I’m telling myself a story I’m some kind of Cosmic Victim – the Universe is out to get me. I never say it in those terms because I know someone would argue me out of that. But that’s what I’m believing, that’s how scared I can get.
I want my work to fall into just the right hands!